


Lovin’ Oven

by MVforVictory, RinHo (RinAngel)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Bottom Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun, Bread, Bread Sex, But Only a Little Bit - Freeform, Crack Treated Seriously, I don’t know why we wrote this but, M/M, Yeah I don’t know what this is either, im happy it exists??, with some angst??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:08:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26804161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MVforVictory/pseuds/MVforVictory, https://archiveofourown.org/users/RinAngel/pseuds/RinHo
Summary: “You love bread more than you love your own best friend. I can’t believe it. I’m heartbroken.”Jaehyun shrugged, unaffected.Johnny was just joking around. Johnny was always just joking around.At least, that’s what Jaehyun thought, until his love for bread was truly put to the test.Alternatively titled: “Don’t touch my bread.”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 37
Kudos: 78
Collections: Rin & Min’s Crackfic Adventures !!





	Lovin’ Oven

**Author's Note:**

> Min: yo I’m honestly so sorry for this but also I’m not. Y’all should feel bad for the discord server that had to listen to me talk about shoving bread in jaehyun’s ass for several days.
> 
> Also, thanks to Rin for being a dope roommate and cowriting this w me even tho you said you wanted nothing to do with it originally uwu
> 
> EDIT 20201112: if this gets 1000 hits I’ll do a second chapter involving butter and corn lol  
> EDIT 20201210: y’all....this wasn’t supposed to happen 😟😟 but ig chapter 2: corn here we go

“Mm.” Johnny made a little sound of contentment as he buried his face in the crook of Jaehyun’s neck—something the younger had really come to expect, by this point. In front of the cameras, and even in front of most of the members, Johnny kept up his cool facade flawlessly, but Jaehyun knew his true nature better than anyone. _Attention whore_ was an understatement. “I hate when you’re gone all day,” he lamented, predictably. “Don’t like when you have schedules without me. It’s so _boring.”_

“You should make other friends,” Jaehyun teased back mildly, unwrapping the sweet bun that he’d grabbed from the kitchen on the way up to his room. Johnny had practically ambushed him there (and this was the prime reason that the other members teased them for being in a relationship—they weren’t, really, but you’d never know it). At once, Johnny grabbed his wrist to take the first bite of his food, and Jaehyun yanked it sharply away. “Hey, fuck off! I haven’t eaten anything since this morning. This taping went on _forever.”_

Johnny pouted playfully. “I just wanted a bite!”

“No. Go get your own.”

“You love bread more than you love your own best friend. I can’t believe it. I’m heartbroken.”

Jaehyun shrugged, unaffected, and took the first bite himself. Honestly, it was hard not to laugh. After all, he was _pretty_ sure Johnny loved coffee more than he loved Jaehyun. That did wonders to absolve him of his guilt.

“Yup. I do.”

//

Johnny looked so cool, so smug, so absolutely fucking _unaffected_ by the offer he’d just made. Jaehyun _hated_ that. Johnny had no _fucking_ business being able to make offers like that with nothing but a _shit eating grin._ “Well? That was a serious offer. I bought this bread with one express purpose.”

“Hyung, that’s gross. You can’t just—You can’t just _say that.”_

“Too late.”

“You can’t just ask someone to shove a baguette up their ass!” Jaehyun finally managed to get out, eyes wide with shock as he stared at the older man. 

“Yeah I can,” Johnny shrugged, “And you can always say ‘no’,” he pointed out, much to Jaehyun’s embarrassment, “You were saying you can’t get laid lately. And what do you love more than anything? Your own _best friend?_ Bread. Besides, aren’t you even a _little_ curious?” 

“I—I mean,” Jaehyun eyed the bread with trepidation, “Kinda?…”

“Okay. Cool. Take your pants off.”

Johnny might have been joking, but Jaehyun was curious. _And he's standing there with the fucking shopping bag in his hands._

His body still seemed to be moving of its own accord, hands fumbling to undo his belt buckle with trembling fingers. After several unproductive seconds, the strip of leather finally was pulled from the loops of his jeans, left discarded on the floor. The jeans followed, denim pooling at his ankles, and lastly, after the longest pause yet, he let his boxers fall.

Johnny had seen him half-undressed more times than he could count, but never like this. Never red-faced and flustered, never half-hard and aching for something that he couldn’t believe he wanted.

Jaehyun glanced back up at Johnny, holding his breath as he waited for the next order. 

It was too hot in his room, it was way too hot in his goddamn room, but Jaehyun couldn’t figure out _why,_ exactly. He could hear the AC in the living room, could feel the way the thin layer of sweat on the nape of his neck seemed to chill him to the bone. 

“This isn’t weird?” he asked, without thinking too much about it. It kinda just… _came out._

“Putting things up your butt isn’t an exclusively gay thing,” Johnny defended, with a little more conviction than Jaehyun thought was necessary. “Donghyuck does it. I’ve caught him.”

“Oh…kay…” (He wanted to point out that Donghyuck doing it did not make it _straight._ Donghyuck also made out with Jaemin, which was pretty gay, no matter how you sliced it.)

“I’m pretty sure most dudes do it.”

“Do most dudes put things up their _friends’_ butts?” Jaehyun questioned, sneaking a glance over his shoulder. Johnny _seriously_ had a baguette in his hands, this wasn’t a joke, or a dream— 

“I mean, if you want me to, dude.”

“That’s _not—”_ Jaehyun was cut off by the plastic bag rustling again, and his jaw dropped a little as Johnny pulled out a stout glass bottle. “Okay, I draw the line there. You’re _not_ putting that inside me.”

 _“Duh._ This is olive oil. We ran out, so I bought some.” Johnny smirked, a ghost of pride on his face. “Olive oil goes with bread. And is probably great lube.” His tone was still rife with amusement, which made Jaehyun all the more embarrassed, but there was a sort of tenderness to his next order, disguised as a suggestion: “You should get on the bed…probably on your hands and knees, that would be easiest.”

“God, how long have you been _envisioning this_ to know that?” Jaehyun tried to tease, even as he got in exactly the position that Johnny had described. _Why_ was he doing this again? Was his curiosity worth swallowing his pride?

“I haven’t been, it’s just common sense. I need to stretch you out first. Not that a baguette is going to be big enough to tear you, but—well, you can’t have too much preparation, y’know?” From behind him, Jaehyun heard the _pop_ of the olive oil’s cork, and he swore, his heart skipped a beat. “Don’t worry,” Johnny added helpfully, and with an edge of amusement to his voice that had Jaehyun gritting his teeth. “I’m using _lots_ of oil. It shouldn’t hurt too much.”

“Gee, thanks,” Jaehyun had to fight to keep himself from visibly shaking, though he jumped when Johnny’s fingers spread his cheeks open, and a slick finger circled his rim. It was somewhere that no girlfriend had ever touched; it felt foreign, intrusive, and Jaehyun didn’t know if he’d ever quite get used to the feeling. 

At first it was just pressure. Slow, building pressure—pushing against him and gradually increasing as Johnny’s fingers circled carefully—before it gave way to the stretch as Jaehyun’s body resisted. 

One finger wasn’t too bad, but the tension in his muscles did him no favors as Johnny gave the digit an experimental wiggle. 

“Dude, you need to relax.”

“I’m straight! I’ve never done this before!” Jaehyun shot back, voice trembling a bit more than he would have liked. “Speaking of which, how do _you_ know what you’re doing back there?”

“Boys aren’t the _only_ ones with assholes,” Johnny replied, his amusement barely concealed. “Besides—don’t make more of this than it is. You’re the one that’s letting me do it.”

 _“You’re the one that bought a baguette to—”_ Jaehyun’s words were cut off by a ragged gasp, his fingers curling into the blankets as Johnny’s finger slid in all the way to the third knuckle. Without meaning to, he found himself wishing that Johnny’s finger was longer. For half a second, it had been _exactly_ where he needed it. “Fuck…”

“Feel good?”

“N-No… _You wish.”_

“Yeah? You’re impatient for this big, thick baguette that you love more than me. Isn’t that right?” Johnny snorted, the sort of half-laugh that indicated his focus was elsewhere. Maybe this wasn’t exactly a game to him, either. His finger curled against Jaehyun’s tight walls, which was uncomfortable for a moment—until Johnny dragged the pressure over _just_ the right spot. Jaehyun’s arms trembled and buckled, and both out of necessity and embarrassment, he lowered his shoulders to the mattress and hid his face in his arms.

“Stop fucking around. Stretch me if you need to stretch me. I’m getting bored.”

“I’m trying to make you relax! But every time I move, you clench up!”

 _That’s because I want something bigger._ Oh, if only Jaehyun could say it. He bit his lower lip _hard_ and closed his eyes. “More oil,” he whispered, breath trembling. “Please…”

Johnny slipped his finger _mostly_ free, letting another chilly dribble of oil drip over Jaehyun’s entrance before a second fingertip pushed in alongside the first. _This_ was a little painful, but he was desperate to know how much _better_ it would be, once they hit—

 _There_ it was. His back arched, his eyes rolled, his toes curled. He was sure that Johnny could tell; the older seemed to consciously change his angle so that it was less straight-on, _brushing against_ his prostate rather than hitting it directly, but every once in awhile he would jam his fingers right into Jaehyun’s sweet spot and make him whimper in surprise.

“Good?” Johnny checked again, though he certainly knew the answer.

 _“Fine,”_ Jaehyun downplayed through gritted teeth. “Almost done?”

“Trust me, you don’t want me to rush this, Hyunnie.” Johnny scissored his fingers a couple times, bringing stinging tears to Jaehyun’s eyes, but it loosened him up nicely for a third lubed finger to pop in. And having _all three of them_ run purposefully over the most sensitive bundle of nerves in his body had him blissed out and dripping pre-cum on the bedsheets before he could think twice about it.

“I’m ready, Youngho. I’m ready,” Jaehyun babbled. Any sense of rational thought he once had seemed to have taken a swan dive out the window. “Please, please. Just do something, hyung. Do something. I need it, please. I need it. I—”

“Shh,” Johnny tried to quiet him, his free hand petting along Jaehyun’s lower back as he tried to ease the tension running through the younger, “Just a little bit longer, okay? Just a little longer.”

Johnny’s fingers stretched out a few more times, each one adding painstaking seconds before Jaehyun could get whatever relief he so _desperately_ seeked, barely holding on as his own fingers tightened in the sheets.

“I’m gonna remove them, okay?”

Jaehyun nodded, trying not to clench around the fingers as they were slowly pulled from his body. He couldn’t stop the whine that slipped out at the foreign feeling that seemed to be weighing his stomach down.

He felt—He felt _empty._

“Youngho—”

“I know,” Johnny whispered to him, oiling the baguette in his hands with far more oil than Jaehyun would have ever thought necessary, “I know, Yoonoh.”

The name was enough to pull another whine from Jaehyun’s lips, trying not to clench up once more as Johnny leveled the baguette with his entrance.

This was it. It was happening.

“You need to be completely relaxed for this,” Johnny warned him. As if it was that easy.

The loaf was slowly pushed forward, Jaehyun could feel it compacting slightly as he let out a slow exhale. The baguette felt… _weird._ It burned, but not in a bad way. Even with the oil, the baguette was still significantly less smooth than Johnny’s fingers had been, and Jaehyun couldn’t help but find himself wishing that it was still Johnny inside him, rather than the bread.

Sometime, towards the end of Johnny’s fingers stretching him, Jaehyun found himself fully hard as he rutted against the bed. He wasn’t sure what was better—pushing forward to gain friction between his cock and the mattress, or back, in an attempt to get more of the baguette in him.

His thighs were absolutely drenched with oil, but the bread still resisted as Johnny continued his slow pushing of the baguette.

It felt like hours before Johnny paused, that hand still resting on Jaehyun’s back tapping twice to get the younger man’s attention.

“You ready for me to move?”

Jaehyun breathed out as he rested his forehead against his arms, trying to ready himself for whatever was about to happen. Whatever was about to be done to him.

“Yeah,” he finally said, “M’ready.”

And then Johnny moved the baguette. 

The friction was like nothing else, and Jaehyun gripped his pillow with a whimper that surprised them both. It hurt, but in the most delicious way. Johnny was gentle but firm as he thrust the oil-coated baguette back inside him, free hand braced on his lower back to keep him still; the quiet sort of dominance he embodied was such an unexpected turn-on, and it made Jaehyun’s fingers curl into involuntary fists.

 _“Oh._ D-Do that again,” he begged, feeling his face burning from the base of his neck to the tips of his ears. Something had shut Johnny up, this had stopped being a joke some time ago—he was _obeying,_ moving the bread in and out in small increments, watching Jaehyun’s hips rock with the rhythm of it.

At some point in time, Johnny had knelt on the mattress beside him; Jaehyun realized it when his hands scrambled for purchase and his elbow knocked against the older boy’s knee. At once, he reached for Johnny’s thigh and held onto it like a lifeline, and Johnny made no mention of it.

"Is it good, Hyunnie? Want more?" Johnny’s deep voice so close to his ear made him shiver. Words were too hard, and Jaehyun voiced his consent with an encouraging whine. “You’re still so damn tight…” Feeling Johnny’s free hand shift to spread him open, he groaned, his face absolutely burning—and for some reason, he found himself wanting Johnny to whisper more into his ear. _How tight am I? How sexy do I look, all spread out at your mercy?_

The very thought made him groan, shifting his weight onto his left arm as he thoughtlessly reached beneath him to catch a drip of oil from his inner thigh. _I can’t believe—can’t believe it—_ but yes, here he was, panting with an open mouth as he teased one nipple and then the other with slick fingers. And he _knew_ that Johnny noticed, because he heard his breath catch in his throat for a moment.

“Fuck,” Johnny commented, with a reverence in his tone that let Jaehyun know that he didn’t know what else to say. The thought made Jaehyun’s cock absolutely throb, and he reached for it without reservations, slicking it with his own pre-cum. Yeah, it was humiliating, knowing that Johnny was seeing him this way…and that also made it a thousand times _hotter,_ for some reason.

“Harder, Youngho-hyung—!”

“I’m _trying,_ but you’re too tight,” Johnny complained, spreading him further and wiggling the baguette inside him, all while Jaehyun frantically rubbed himself, chasing a climax that seemed too far away. After a few moments of struggle, at last, he pulled it back, slipping it slowly out and leaving Jaehyun empty and gaping once more.

“S-So close…”

“I know, Hyunnie. Just…” Two fingers went in _much_ more easily this time, and this time they already knew what they were looking for. The first brush against Jaehyun’s prostate made his legs lock, his knees tremble. 

From there, it was quick. _Embarrassingly_ quick. It only took a few passes of Johnny’s fingers to make Jaehyun spill his load all over his hand, all over the bedsheets. Every muscle in his body tensed with the waves of pleasure, and then his thighs turned to jelly and he collapsed on the mattress, soiled skin against soiled sheets.

Jaehyun masturbated—masturbated a _lot,_ if he were honest—but never had he experienced anything like _this._ It wouldn’t be the same ever again without something in his ass. Or Johnny’s low, breathy, seductive voice right at his ear. _Speaking of which—_

“That was a lot more of a mess than I anticipated. You’ll wanna change your sheets…and probably shake all the crumbs out of these ones before you put them in the washing machine. Sorry.” Johnny _didn’t_ sound sorry; he sounded a little breathless, in fact, like _he_ was the one who’d been fucked with a baguette, but he didn’t get a chance to formulate a reply before Johnny’s hands were spreading his thighs again, using a towel to mop up the oil mixed with cum mixed with sweat. “Ah—You’ll probably need a shower anyway. Sorry about that, too…”

“Wh-What—What the _fuck_ made you think to—”

 _“You_ said yes,” Johnny defended himself almost pathetically, surprising Jaehyun with his weight returning to the mattress. His larger body curled up around Jaehyun’s slightly smaller frame without regard for the mess beneath him, his chest against the younger’s back, and— _holy shit, he’s hard._ The realization started him sweating all over again. What was he supposed to do? _Grab it?_

Instead, he grabbed Johnny’s hands, like he’d done a million times before. He was a fidgety person, and Johnny’s fingers were perfect: he knew them from feeling alone, nails, knuckles, smooth palms beneath his thumbs. _These ones were inside of me, these three. They’re still slippery._

“This is going to sound _super_ weird, but that was kind of fun,” Johnny said at last, laughing as if to play it off, with his lips brushing against the nape of Jaehyun’s neck with every word. “I didn’t think you would go along with it…”

Jaehyun shouldn’t have. In any logical scenario, normally, he _wouldn’t_ have. But in _this,_ in this one illogical, nonsensical timeline in which Jaehyun had allowed Johnny to fuck him with a baguette— 

“I liked it, Youngho-hyung.” His hand squeezed around Johnny’s fingers, his eyes fluttered closed. “But only because it was you.” 

It almost felt like a relief to say. The words seemed like they had been sitting, hot and heavy, for too long, even though he _knew_ it couldn’t have been for longer than when Johnny’s fingers had first closed around the doorknob to pull it shut.

“O-Oh…” Johnny, as expected, sounded taken aback. Upset? Jaehyun couldn’t actually tell—but then his lips pressed briefly, _so_ briefly, against the back of Jaehyun’s neck. “Knew you loved me more than bread,” he whispered at last. Weirdly smug, weirdly satisfied.

It—It did something to Jaehyun’s heart.

His breaths echoed in their shared space. Jaehyun tried not to think about how audibly he could hear them catching as Johnny pulled his hand away.

“Jaehyun…” Johnny’s voice was low, nearly a whisper as Jaehyun tried to curl away. To hide himself from the inquiry.

It didn’t work.

More gentle than Jaehyun could ever remember him being, Johnny drew the younger boy back against his body, turning him over when he was met with little resistance. 

He was weak. Jaehyun was weak, and now he had to face the reality— _his_ reality—where he couldn’t help but find himself lost, only anchored by Johnny’s arms around his waist, keeping him grounded as his head continued to drift.

It seemed like they stayed like that for ages. Johnny letting Jaehyun curl against him, head tucked into the curve of Johnny’s neck to whisper silent pleas against the skin there. 

“I’m sorry.”

It…It felt so natural. Being with Johnny. Like this. So natural it was almost as if they belonged together. Jaehyun didn’t want to lose that. 

He still couldn’t help but relax as Johnny’s hand began to rub over his shoulders, rough palm dragging over the sensitive skin as Jaehyun shivered in delight.

Jaehyun forced them to part once more, just barely, just enough for Johnny to glance up at Jaehyun with confusion clear on his face, brows slightly furrowed and lips parted in question. 

“But I can love you and bread equally, can’t I?”

**Author's Note:**

> And...that’s the way the baguette crumbles?...
> 
> Also heeeeey, don’t...like...go shove bread in someone’s butt??  
> Unless they want it ig..I’m not ur dad i cant tell u what to do
> 
> Yell at us in the comments pls we thrive off that


End file.
